And if love remains... COVID19 Response Needs Unity

Many years ago a girlfriend and I were discussing relationships. She said something that was profound yet so simple that I was ashamed to not have thought of it before then. She told me "The opposite of love is not hate. Hate requires passion. The opposite of love is INDIFFERENCE."

To this day I still reflect on those words. Their truth rings out in so many aspects of life. It resonates unaltered by the myriad changes of culture, politics, science, vice, and virtue. Indifference indeed is the absolute antithesis of love if love is defined as selfless devotion to the betterment of another person. Hate, as a concept, would be the devotion to the ultimate detriment of another person - but there is still devotion. The hater expends energy and thought upon the hated. The indifferent simply could not care less.

As an EMS provider and administrator I have been watching with great care the events unfolding during this pandemic. I have watched the media get it wrong. I have watched our politicians get it wrong. I have watched regular citizens get it wrong as well as some of the very people on the front lines - doctors, nurses, paramedics, and EMTs. I know that I have gotten it wrong on occasion. It's not so much the "getting it wrong" that concerns me. I’m an educator and I appreciate that people must often get it wrong before they can understand a concept fully. What concerns me is the reason for getting it wrong because that reason is  often indifference.

Here's a simple social property: Indifference = Disregard, Disregard = Unfamiliarity.

We're all on the same team right now but many, many people don't realize it because they're indifferent. If I am indifferent to you, I simply disregard you. I care not what becomes of you, nor what your experiences or views are. You become the furthest thing from my mind. As a result, I am completely unfamiliar with any aspect of your life; I am not aware of how policies and procedures may affect you. I am unaware how you view things - what your ideas are. I simply have no inkling of how you live. In that ignorance I make decisions and choices that may negatively affect you simply because those choices benefit me. In those choices love is lost.

Yet love is exactly what we need right now. Agape is a Greek concept of love. It is universal love for all - strangers, nature, even God. Inherent in agape is the metaphysical realization that all things are connected. It’s a core understanding that the suffering of the one is the suffering of the many - that within each being is a spark of you and within you is a spark of each being. No greater indictment of our cultural fixation on individuality can be demonstrated than the behaviors currently on display in the United States.  

A man was arrested last Sunday in Brooklyn for hoarding in his apartment enough PPE and medical supplies to "outfit an entire hospital." While actual medical providers are becoming ill and even dying for want of scarce PPE, this person was price gouging these items to profit from the COVID-19 pandemic. Politicians are squandering precious time and resources furthering their agendas rather than supporting the cause of saving lives. Citizens, citing inconvenience, are scoffing at recommendations to practice social distancing. Even some of our nation’s frontline workers are publicly demanding recognition for their heroic efforts. This one hurts me the most because I know first hand that these people are heroes, but true heroes don’t seek reward or fanfare. They simply do what is needed of them. 

We’re getting it wrong.

We ARE on the same team. We NEED to have a game plan. Each of us must embrace the role that both fits our skills AND best contributes to the successful achievement of our collective goal- to care for the sick, to save the lives we can, and to ensure the stability of our nation. ALL of these things require sacrifice and none of them are possible through indifference. The sanitation worker, the grocery clerk, the paramedic, and the physician are equally important to a good outcome. We may not like the part we’re meant to play, but the house lights are down, the curtain is up, and the performance has begun with millions watching. We can’t flee the stage for the stage is life. The ego is powerless now and our individual attempts to profit politically, financially, or through recognition are nothing more than manifestations of indifference to the needs of our fellow humans.

The late Neil Peart lyrically beckoned us to act from the heart in “Bravado:”

“... and if love remains though everything is lost

We will pay the price, but we will not count the cost.”

My silent appeals to the powers of the Universe are that I find the strength, courage, and humility to play my part, and that our leaders find the same. We’re all connected now- even though we are socially distant. We cannot hold hands, but perhaps we can hold hearts.

May agape unite us.